Wednesday, May 05, 2010

You ever have one of those experiences where you've been thinking deeply about something for a while, and have come to a realization, and then you read that very same realization someplace else?

From CNN: "Consider a choice you have to make -- anything from which movie to see to which house to buy. Instead of weighing pros and cons intellectually, notice your physical response to each option. Pay attention to when your body tenses or relaxes."

I've been feeling a huge sense of dissatisfaction lately. I don't know how much of this is chemical and how much much health-related and how much life-related, in other words. But I have been trying to think about what would make it better, what direction I should go in. I've noticed that, while many ideas have flitted through my brain, nothing sounds good or right. I don't want to do anything somehow. I haven't hit on the right idea. And I can tell, I realized, because I get a feeling of "no" in the pit of my stomach, a sort of revolt, whenever an idea comes up, no matter how great it looks on the surface. I know part of it is just exhaustion and burn-out, but not all.

For instance, I was considering doing an online library studies masters. I was doing research in the programs available online, and I just felt depressed about it. I would love to work in a library, amidst the books I love, but doing so via one of these programs is just not striking me correctly. I don't know why. It seems like such a no-brainer. But my gut says no.

So, when I read that on CNN today, I had to laugh, because as much as I'm a pro-con lister, I have been focusing on my intuition lately to try to solve this problem. Consider my mind read.


Anonymous said...

Sometimes I do try to see if I have any strong physical-emotional leanings in my "gut" when I'm torn on something. I sit still and quiet for a few moments to see if I can tell what I really want to- need to-know I should do, from my insides.

Problem is, my strong ethical and giving tendencies and my equally strong decadent and selfish tendencies often clash, and get all tangled up in my gut.


hadjare said...

Yes I do know what you mean. But I try not to confuse gut feeling with fear...or uncertainty about change. It's a hard go.