More rejected Facebook statuses

Abigail seems to have poured too much creativity into her classes and can't come up with an original post.
Abigail spent a very busy weekend grading papers and has been a slug since they were finished.
Abigail has been nursing headaches that make her teary-eyed.
Abigail found out today that she is willing to drive to Rossford, try on Girls' XL jammies, and buy them if they even remotely fit, so that she can replace her old Nick & Nora Cloud Nine jammies that basically fell apart from overwear.
Abigail's birthday is coming up. What will she be getting herself besides the aforementioned jammies?
Abigail is wondering if she will finally get up the whatever to find a new place to live next year. One that has good parking, wood floors, and no neighbors on the other side of the walls or ceiling.
Abigail has been trying to make a dress, but thanks to the aforementioned sluggishness, she has not made much headway.
Abigail, for once, did not freak out when she saw a house centipede, but as it was small and on the other side of the house, she does not think that's worth much applause.
Abigail did, however, write a charming searching for causes essay about house centipede phobia, during her classes, in like manner to a performing ape, while her students in turn worked on their essays. See prior note re: creative energy.
Abigail is changing the closet tonight, 70 degrees today or no. She is relieved at last to have clean clothes.
Abigail forgot to take the pork chops out of the freezer.
Abigail was wondering how hilarious Pushing Daisies would be tonight, then realized it isn't on. This is evidently a prime time to go to Target and purch some jammies.