Amazing Race--How I'd Fare

So, even though I don't watch the show, I thought it might be fun to speculate about how I might do on the Amazing Race if I were teamed up with a few different people of my circle. So here's a list, complete with how we would place or manage if we were to take on the Race.
Paired with:

• my sister--poorly. She's with child. If she weren't with child, probably we'd make it to third place, easily finding the sixpence buried in English soil by Stonehenge, but would walk off in a huff of irritation after trying to get directions from blondes in Malibu.
• Steve--heartbreakingly eliminated in 3rd to last place after squandering time trying to get clever with the igloo in Siberia, and then wandering off to see what Dostoevsky had been going on about. Curiously, I would not have this problem with Liss.
• Michelle--we're going all the way to the top, baby. Michelle and I can do no wrong; witness the near-disaster while driving with stuck windshield wipers in Lincoln, NE. We would be forced to use our wiles quite a bit on unprepared gentlemen in Botswana, but it would pay off when passing the once-dating-but-now-can't-bother-to-say-five-words-to-each-other team.
• Carrie--we'd rock hard in the make-clothes-out-of-leaves segment, but be toppled by the thirty-years married couple in the luge in the Alps. 4th place.
• Krissy--we'd come in second-to- last, failing to advance past the Andean lug-it-up-a-mountain challenge due to our complete inability to focus on tasks whilst talking in full flood.
• Patrick--5th place, I think. We'd breeze through the ancient Egyptian musical clue, but meet our doom in the ford-the-Colorado-River challenge when I am inexplicably kicked by a mule.
• Jelena--7th place; we'd get along fine up until we were required to find our next clue in the mud of Vulcano, Italy.
• Lisa--I'd totally coast on Lisa's good humor until 2nd place, where we'd lose because neither of us could bear to see the disappointment on the cute-twin-sister-and-brother team who need the money to go to college and jointly find the cure for cancer.
• Nate H--dead last, we wouldn't even leave the parking lot, and we wouldn't be speaking to each other. He knows why.
• Karin--8th place. We'd do great until we got to Tahiti and Karin utterly refuses to wear shorts.
• Elisa--we'd make it to a healthy 6th place, but be eliminated when a: I can't stop stopping in Lush stores everywhere we go and b: in Brazil, Elisa can't stop stopping to take pictures of cute bugs.

So there it is. I could go on forever. Where would you place?