Tuesday, October 30, 2007

So, I'm not having a really great week at this point; it's not that anything bad has happened really, my mind/spirit/whatever just is not in a good place. When I am close to tears in the middle of the afternoon and walk all the way across campus to get a reuben sandwich, and am closer to tears when I think about what will happen if I don't get one, something shady is going on in the Avacious headspace. True, I worked hard this weekend. True, I've sort of opted out of Halloween this year (despite the Russian doll costume I put together at the last minute to stop by a party with the sole purpose of seeing all the babies dressed up). True my relax time hasn't been as relaxing as I'd like. I don't know. Things just ain't right.
Last night, I made some real efforts to get myself together. For instance, I checked out one of my old youth favorite books by Lloyd Alexander, and read the whole thing (130 pages). I also wore my Tinkerbell pants, which have been aforementioned in this spot as soul-quieting. I also made some potato soup--I never have before, but I threw some butter and seasoning in a pot, baked two potatoes in the microwave while heating a cup of evaporated milk and however much skim milk seemed appropriate, then threw the chopped up potatoes in the soup and mushed it around. I left the skins in. I'm here to tell you it was the most soothing thing I could have made at that moment. I ate it along with a chicken leg, and later had some bread pudding and apple salad, and I was full. That soup...man, it was so good.
So, somehow things will get back to normal eventually. I'm going to try for a walk tonight since it's a bit warmer, and then try to relax for reals. Maybe even a bath.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know that sort of headspace. If the comfort food, snuggly clothes, and reading don't work, I've turned to chemical help -- i.e., sugared coffee in the morning to give me a buzz of self-boosting creativity and productivity...then a relaxing nap in the afternoon...then wine in the evening for a mellow flow of additional creativity and golden confidence. Not that this system applies so much these days with a baby in the house. Have to time caffeine and alcohol with care.

Anyway, I've long felt that a happy life means noticing and appreciating the small privileges and pleasures, as you're doing. A good bowl of soup, babies in Halloween costumes, a warm bath.

You do have a birthday coming up! I sent a box to you yesterday. It will be way early, but I'm learning to get things done (like shopping and post office trips) as soon as an opportunity appears. Preferably this is early rather than late.