I have two words for you:
And now a lot more words...Comedy Central showed stand-up comedy all Sunday, and so I saw the half hour Jim Gaffigan special from a few years ago, and then later his new one hour special.
Basically, this is what happened: Me, been grading all weekend. Sitting on the couch. Listening to the TV, and then hear something ridiculous about mayonnaise and completely skip chuckles and giggles and head straight into silent, shaking laughter. (When you don't drink, people always need to know why. "You don't drink, why?" This never happens with anything else. "You don't use mayonnaise, why? ... Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it okay if I use mayonnaise? I could go outside..." )
I don't know what happened. I even tried to laugh out loud and couldn't, because for some reason volume was impossible. I needed to just shake and let my eyes leak, I guess. The one-hour special was not *quite* as funny, but still pretty hilarious, especially when he was mimicking the reluctant audience member's reactions: "I don't know if you can tell, but both my parents were...white." I think one of them was a polar bear. That's why he dated a panda. I didn't know there were going to be bear jokes.
I heart funny Jim Gaffigan!
Now, I have a lot of work to do. Get off my porch.